Um. Way to be self-sabotaging fandom! Hating people who are actively participating in fandom just because they're participating is not going to help anything. And what's up with the personal vendettas against BNFs? There's this really nifty feature called the scroll button when you don't want to read something.
Anyway, some people defend hate memes because they're like, the only opportunity for non-BNFs to be heard and anonymous commenting levels the playing field or something. Yes, it totally sucks that lj is more of a popularity contest than a cohesive community, but seriously, if you're yourself are actually involved in fandom, can you not see the good in encouraging everyone to participate? Because it seems to me that a lot of times creative people play off of each other and encouraging that should never, ever be a bad thing. One thing I do wish though, is that some of the stuff brought up in the hate threads could actually be discussed outside of the context of petty, spiteful commentary.
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I really try to leave feedback for everything I enjoyed reading, but if it's a writer who I know doesn't respond to feedback, I usually won't bother. Above and beyond any considerations of fandom etiquette and politeness, not responding to feedback (at least to me) seems to indicate a certain level of indifference towards even getting feedback at all.
And personally, I like writing feedback, I like picking out what I loved, and telling writers exactly what worked for me. So I usually spend a good amount of time trying to construct something more than a quick "thanks!" (not that there's anything wrong with doing that, sometimes it's all I have time for too.) Fandom is a reciprocal culture, if I don't feel like the time I put into feedback is appreciated, I won't leave it. And more than that, feedback is pretty much the best opportunity for readers to interact with writers, it's how a lot of meta gets discussed, and how a lot of people meet new friends. I don't think every writer has to automatically make friends with all of their reviewers, but I think it's nice when the channels of communication are at least open to that, even if all it is is a standard thank you reply, at least that's something.
Some of the best meta discussions I've had have come out of feedback threads,
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Also, as a very small author with a tiny output, every piece of feedback is precious, especially when I write in tiny, underground fandoms like the Vampire Chronicles. (Readers in small fandoms are always more appreciative of your work, if it's good, because it's difficult to find *any* fic, let alone good ones -- as opposed to Harry Potter or whatever, where you can't take two steps without tripping over a dozen good fics, and a dozen bad ones, too.) Not that I base my sense of self-worth on how many comments my fic gets, because really, I'm not 12 years old, but it's nice to let someone know that you appreciated them taking the time to read your work and reply.
As for leaving feedback myself, I'm kind of lazy. I know, I'm terrible. It depends on what I have to do -- if I can leave an LJ comment or a message on a review board, then I will. If I have to write an email, then I probably won't bother, because that's more effort. (The exception to that is if I'm trawling a collection of fics by the one author and I've enjoyed several and their email address is displayed in a prominent place.) But if I read the fic all the way through and I liked it and it's on LJ, then I'll comment, no problem. What I actually say depends on if there's anything I can single out about the story to remark upon. Also, if I can see that a lot of other people have said the same sort of things then I'll hold back or find something new to say, because I don't like being repetitive.
As far as leaving feedback, I am pretty bad at emailing comments too. Livejournal has definitely provided a more convenient setting for feedback (or at least a more familiar one at this point.) Although, I probably have a slightly bigger impetus to leave feedback since I pretty much rec everything I enjoyed enough to review, and I like to take a moment to let the author know that I've recced their story.