Um. Way to be self-sabotaging fandom! Hating people who are actively participating in fandom just because they're participating is not going to help anything. And what's up with the personal vendettas against BNFs? There's this really nifty feature called the scroll button when you don't want to read something.
Anyway, some people defend hate memes because they're like, the only opportunity for non-BNFs to be heard and anonymous commenting levels the playing field or something. Yes, it totally sucks that lj is more of a popularity contest than a cohesive community, but seriously, if you're yourself are actually involved in fandom, can you not see the good in encouraging everyone to participate? Because it seems to me that a lot of times creative people play off of each other and encouraging that should never, ever be a bad thing. One thing I do wish though, is that some of the stuff brought up in the hate threads could actually be discussed outside of the context of petty, spiteful commentary.
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I really try to leave feedback for everything I enjoyed reading, but if it's a writer who I know doesn't respond to feedback, I usually won't bother. Above and beyond any considerations of fandom etiquette and politeness, not responding to feedback (at least to me) seems to indicate a certain level of indifference towards even getting feedback at all.
And personally, I like writing feedback, I like picking out what I loved, and telling writers exactly what worked for me. So I usually spend a good amount of time trying to construct something more than a quick "thanks!" (not that there's anything wrong with doing that, sometimes it's all I have time for too.) Fandom is a reciprocal culture, if I don't feel like the time I put into feedback is appreciated, I won't leave it. And more than that, feedback is pretty much the best opportunity for readers to interact with writers, it's how a lot of meta gets discussed, and how a lot of people meet new friends. I don't think every writer has to automatically make friends with all of their reviewers, but I think it's nice when the channels of communication are at least open to that, even if all it is is a standard thank you reply, at least that's something.
Some of the best meta discussions I've had have come out of feedback threads,
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I've seen that too. I don't, hmmm I don't like, keep a list of people I've feedbacked and check off whether I recieve a response from them or not. But if I leave someone feedback often enough and never hear a word from them, chances are I'll start noticing the pattern and without anything else to go by, I'm pretty much left to assume that they're not interested in encouraging reader response.
As for hating someone over fandom stuff, well, it just seems petty. Fandom is supposed to be fun, a source of entertainment and enthusiasm. If you're not feeling it, to the point of vicious anger at specific people, that's what the scroll feature is for. Someone else said this and I agree with it: a lot of people use the anonymous thing as a way to disguise what most people would normally call stupidity. If I were to say, deadly serious, I hate everyone who ships Harry/Draco because I like Harry/Snape and everyone who doesn't write it SUCKS and you should all hate them too! I think people would, rightly, call me on being stupid.