Um. Way to be self-sabotaging fandom! Hating people who are actively participating in fandom just because they're participating is not going to help anything. And what's up with the personal vendettas against BNFs? There's this really nifty feature called the scroll button when you don't want to read something.
Anyway, some people defend hate memes because they're like, the only opportunity for non-BNFs to be heard and anonymous commenting levels the playing field or something. Yes, it totally sucks that lj is more of a popularity contest than a cohesive community, but seriously, if you're yourself are actually involved in fandom, can you not see the good in encouraging everyone to participate? Because it seems to me that a lot of times creative people play off of each other and encouraging that should never, ever be a bad thing. One thing I do wish though, is that some of the stuff brought up in the hate threads could actually be discussed outside of the context of petty, spiteful commentary.
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I really try to leave feedback for everything I enjoyed reading, but if it's a writer who I know doesn't respond to feedback, I usually won't bother. Above and beyond any considerations of fandom etiquette and politeness, not responding to feedback (at least to me) seems to indicate a certain level of indifference towards even getting feedback at all.
And personally, I like writing feedback, I like picking out what I loved, and telling writers exactly what worked for me. So I usually spend a good amount of time trying to construct something more than a quick "thanks!" (not that there's anything wrong with doing that, sometimes it's all I have time for too.) Fandom is a reciprocal culture, if I don't feel like the time I put into feedback is appreciated, I won't leave it. And more than that, feedback is pretty much the best opportunity for readers to interact with writers, it's how a lot of meta gets discussed, and how a lot of people meet new friends. I don't think every writer has to automatically make friends with all of their reviewers, but I think it's nice when the channels of communication are at least open to that, even if all it is is a standard thank you reply, at least that's something.
Some of the best meta discussions I've had have come out of feedback threads,
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This is a subject on which I could, and have, ranted several times :-), I've even ran polls on the subject.
I do believe that all feedback should be responded to, and also that in a forum like LJ where people aren't getting individual messages (as they do on mailing lists) that yes, they should take the time to say something, even if it does mean them saying 'thank you 40 times.' It's only polite. After all, those 40 people have gone to the trouble of leaving a comment, I firmly believe the author should respond.
As for whether the lack of response stops you leaving comments, sending LoCs, most definitely yes. When I first got into fandom I regularly wrote long LoCs to authors. A good proportion responded, some in depth, some with a simple 'thank you', but several didn't. I'm all for giving people a second even third chance, but when the people (and I hate to say it but they were quite often one of 'the' names) didn't bother to reply; I didn't bother sending any more. And this did have a knock on effect for other people. I basically stopped sending them.
On LJ I do leave feedback, generally nothing detailed, just a quick note and pretty much 98% of the time I get a response. From those I don't? Simple, they get a second chance, then I just don't bother any more.
I have heard people say 'oh, but if the person has written you a really long LoC, they don't want a simple thank you, they expect a full response'. Nope, not true. A simple 'thank you' is more than enough. I've also heard it said 'we're too busy writing the stories you love so much, we don't have time to reply'. Rubbish! Of course they do, how long does it take to say 'thank you.'
I have also heard it say that LoCs/feedback are like gifts to the author, fine, I pretty much agree, but... Well I always say 'thank you' for gifts, so again I expect a reply.
I always say thank you, no matter how many times I have to say it. And I always do it individually.
I refuse to beleive that anyone who has the time to participate in fandom doesn't have time to say thank you at least once. If I were to create a scale of preferential responces to feedback, blanket thanks yous wouldn't be at the top of it, but the cliché that something is better than nothing seems to apply to the acknowledgment of feedback. Good grace will never go out of style and I will always find a writer who takes the time to acknowledge their readers to be more classy than one who doesn't ever take that time.