Um. Way to be self-sabotaging fandom! Hating people who are actively participating in fandom just because they're participating is not going to help anything. And what's up with the personal vendettas against BNFs? There's this really nifty feature called the scroll button when you don't want to read something.
Anyway, some people defend hate memes because they're like, the only opportunity for non-BNFs to be heard and anonymous commenting levels the playing field or something. Yes, it totally sucks that lj is more of a popularity contest than a cohesive community, but seriously, if you're yourself are actually involved in fandom, can you not see the good in encouraging everyone to participate? Because it seems to me that a lot of times creative people play off of each other and encouraging that should never, ever be a bad thing. One thing I do wish though, is that some of the stuff brought up in the hate threads could actually be discussed outside of the context of petty, spiteful commentary.
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I really try to leave feedback for everything I enjoyed reading, but if it's a writer who I know doesn't respond to feedback, I usually won't bother. Above and beyond any considerations of fandom etiquette and politeness, not responding to feedback (at least to me) seems to indicate a certain level of indifference towards even getting feedback at all.
And personally, I like writing feedback, I like picking out what I loved, and telling writers exactly what worked for me. So I usually spend a good amount of time trying to construct something more than a quick "thanks!" (not that there's anything wrong with doing that, sometimes it's all I have time for too.) Fandom is a reciprocal culture, if I don't feel like the time I put into feedback is appreciated, I won't leave it. And more than that, feedback is pretty much the best opportunity for readers to interact with writers, it's how a lot of meta gets discussed, and how a lot of people meet new friends. I don't think every writer has to automatically make friends with all of their reviewers, but I think it's nice when the channels of communication are at least open to that, even if all it is is a standard thank you reply, at least that's something.
Some of the best meta discussions I've had have come out of feedback threads,
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I am fairly sure I know the person you're talking about and I also, do not leave feedback for her very often. I used to, it just got to a point where there was no point for me to spend the time on it.
I shoulld clarify that, regarding the author I mentioned above, I have nothing personal against her. Rather, I think that she has a wonderful talent for writing but I'm not sure if she has the time to read all her comments and so I feel that me leaving one extra comment wouldn't make a difference!
I think you touched on this issue in your comment above to someone else. Plus I'm also one of those people who cringes at my own comments and often worries that I'm going to offend someone out there unintentionally. If I can't say anything meaningful, I figure that it's safer to remain silent.
Re: badfic, I think I always try to give the author the benefit of the doubt. I figure everyone has to start somewhere and learn from mistakes. Plus writing is a skill that not everyone is gifted with. I can write factual essays and reports to regulatory authorities. But to write creatively is something I lack the ability to... I guess if an author responds to comments rather than shuts people out, I'm more likely to comment and to give encouragement. Otherwise, I'll hold back.
:)